[RML] SPAM: Fwd: Mental Health

Piabinha at aol.com
Wed, 31 Mar 1999 15:49:24 EST

> > A transcript of the new answering service recently installed at the Mental
> > Health Institute:
> > Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.
> > If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
> > If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
> > If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
> > If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the
> > line so we can trace your call.
> > If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the
> > mother ship.
> > If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell
> > you
> > which number to press.
> > If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you
> > press---no one will answer.
> > If you are dyslexic, press 9696966996969.
> > If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a
> > representative comes on the line.
> > If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone number,
> > date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.
> > If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press
> > 000.
> > If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or
> > before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
> > If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
> > If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
> > If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
> > If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
> > If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too
> > busy
> > to talk to you.

From: STARRAFT at aol.com
Return-path: <STARRAFT at aol.com>
To: anggrek at juno.com, Piabinha at aol.com
Subject: Fwd: Mental Health
Date: Wed, 31 Mar 1999 15:38:44 EST
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From: "Freeman, Ellyn" <EFreeman at wlrk.com>
To: "'Ed_Leibowitz at exchange.ml.com'" <Ed_Leibowitz at exchange.ml.com>,
"'repto at aol.com'" <repto at aol.com>,
"'JFRE1920 at aol.com'"
<JFRE1920 at aol.com>,
"'bartholet at aol.com'" <bartholet at aol.com>,
"'starraft at aol.com'" <starraft at aol.com>
Subject: Mental Health
Date: Wed, 31 Mar 1999 10:44:09 -0500
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> A transcript of the new answering service recently installed at the Mental
> Health Institute:
> Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.
> If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
> If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
> If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
> If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the
> line so we can trace your call.
> If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the
> mother ship.
> If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell
> you
> which number to press.
> If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you
> press---no one will answer.
> If you are dyslexic, press 9696966996969.
> If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a
> representative comes on the line.
> If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone number,
> date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.
> If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press
> 000.
> If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or
> before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
> If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
> If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
> If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
> If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
> If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too
> busy
> to talk to you.
>
>
>
>
> /nd
>